how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
