I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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