so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
