drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm always down for nudity.
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