Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
