She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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