wakey wakey hands off snakey
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize