How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
