4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
