I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
