you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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