Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
