The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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