I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize