hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize