Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
