I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
