I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
