I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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