i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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