I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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