i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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