Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
