Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
