I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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