Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
