Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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