why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize