No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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