you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
ttyl tear gas
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
