You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We got so high we made milksteak
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Never underestimate the power of titties
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize