I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize