yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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