When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
