just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Terrible idea I love it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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