yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
