Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
well you can't waste a boner
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
