so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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