Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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