Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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