are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
