I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
