I just cut my nipple shaving
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He had one of those small greek statue penises
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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