when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
