Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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