I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
