You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
