I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
