I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize