the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
well you can't waste a boner
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
