I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
