Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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