I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
