It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
