he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
