If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
