i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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