I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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