I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have fence marks all over my body
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
