After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
